Although sexual abuse happens to individual men and boys, the impact it has on them affects us all. Sexual abuse of males hurts us as a community and we all have a part to play in tackling and preventing it.

One of the most important things we can do is to change how we think and talk about it.

Sharing our insights and experiences allows us to come together as a community to challenge the stereotypes that so often constrain the conversations sexual abuse.

This blog is an open space for you to join the conversation and let us know what you think needs to change – how things could be different. This is a space for your own personal thoughts and feelings. This could be just a comment, your experience or a fuller argument for change…

Have a look at what others are saying and use the form to submit your contribution.

If you are looking for help for yourself or someone else around sexual abuse, please use the national helpline 

See what others have written below.



For legal reasons, we cannot accept contributions that appear defamatory or libellous, or ones that name individuals or specific situations that might jeopardise any legal proceedings.

Push Yourself

I pushed my comfort zone recently and went to a performance of GROOMED, a piece/play about the affects of sexual abuse on a boy and how it changed how he conducted himself throughout the rest of his life. A truly eye opening evening which really opened up the subject...

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Raw Emotion

Groomed really helped me personally to further understand the mixed emotions of a survivor of sexual abuse. The raw anger shocked me, although on reflection of course there is anger - it just seems rarely seen. The play touched on themes surrounding crafting identity...

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Groomed – A Must See.

I recently saw Groomed as part of the Brighton Festival and can honestly say it's one of the most affective pieces of theatre I have ever seen. The show is beautiful in it's simplicity; minimal set and props work entirely in this show's favour. The script is...

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UK Grant Officer

Groomed is a powerful, beautifully written and hard-hitting play. The story was told with such subtlety but stayed with me and challenged my thinking. Huge respect for Patrick and Mankind.

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Captivating storytelling…simple comprehensive props…good music. The audience can dip in and out of the context. The narration reminded me of a sailing ship….emotions and words so heavy but flew so lightly. Would be interesting if Patrick sits as a member of the...

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Groomed Reflections

Watching the play Groomed on Monday evening left a real impact on me and it is an experience that I will remember for a long time. There was such a dizzying range of emotions explored in those fifty minutes, from murderous anger, to fear, to the panic-stricken,...

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Male Shame to Blame

When we as a society discuss rape and sexual abuse we are more than likely to generate a picture in our minds that we are referring to a scenario that involves a female victim and a male perpetrator. This has been demonstrated to me in many discussions with friends,...

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Thanks for the invitation to see Groomed last night. It was a very moving and professional play, and informed in a way that only a piece written and performed by someone who has personal experience of sexual abuse as a boy could be. Although this was a very difficult...

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My experience with Mankind

After years of living a life on the brink of manageable chaos and denial of my mental state due to my childhood sexual abuse, Mankind was there when the chaos was taking over and I could no longer live a lie. It sounds dramatic, but this is the reality for many men...

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How can a Truth be told? How can a Secret be spoken?

Three extraordinary stories: A betrayed schoolboy, a Japanese soldier and the inventor of the saxophone. Life enhancing theatre can transform past wounds that so many share. This show’s emotional power has gripped audiences in Norway, UK and USA. Intelligent. Unmissable.

I recognise that:

  • Men can also be the victims of sexual violence and abuse
  • Not all sexual crimes are committed by men

I therefore acknowledge that the way we think and talk about sexual crimes is too simplistic and needs to change.

I pledge to become a part of this change by challenging existing social stereotypes in how we hear, think and talk about the sexual abuse of men and boys.

*NOTE: Adding your name to our pledge list doesn’t commit you to anything else. Your details will never be shared with any third party.

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